Resolutions
vs. Goals
by Marie E.
DisBrow
There are two things that I remember about the New Year and
growing up in the South – eating black-eyed peas on New Year's Day for
"good luck" and writing my annual list of New Year's resolutions. My
mother encouraged me to make a long list of character traits to develop and
good things to accomplish in the coming year. The habit of making New Year's
resolutions remained with me as I grew up. For years, I ritually wrote out my
New Year's resolutions until it finally got through to me that, as an adult, I
was making the same ones each year! Although "losing weight" was at
the top of my list every year, the following January found me just as heavy (or
heavier!) than ever. When I mentioned this to friends and acquaintances, many
of them admitted that they, too, were not achieving their desired results with
New Year's resolutions.
After much thought, I believe I've found the answer.
Although the meaning of "resolution" is that one is resolved (i.e. determined) to accomplish
a particular thing, it seems to me that most resolutions are more like wishes.
A goal, on the other hand, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, is
"the end toward which effort is directed." Much more than wishful
thinking is involved here. Perhaps if we made New Year's goals instead of
resolutions, we would have more success.
Seeing goals as more than wishes is necessary to achieve
success. Will power is important, but first you must have a reason to change
that is greater than the ease of doing things the same way you've been doing
them for a long time. One way you can develop a strong desire is by writing
down positive effects that you expect to receive when your goals are met. For
instance, weight loss may increase self-esteem, health and energy. Recognizing
these positive outcomes will give you something specific to work toward.
Writing down your goals and the steps you plan to take to
reach them helps make them real to you. It will also give you a visible plan
for success. Write in detail what you wish to accomplish and what things can
help you in your quest. Some examples of things that can assist you are books, magazine
articles, support groups, and encouragement from friends and family. Review
your list of goals often and put big check marks or stars next to the ones
you've completed.
Your goals should be both specific
and attainable. If I just say, "I want to lose weight," that doesn't
accomplish much toward making me slimmer. But by focusing on exactly how much
weight I'd like to lose, and in what time frame I'd like to lose it, I will be
more likely to be successful in reaching my goal. For instance, you may decide:
"My goal is to lose 20 pounds in
the coming year." Once you've decided on a concrete goal, brainstorm ideas
of what would help to make that goal a reality and divide your goal into
smaller sections. For instance, "This week I will reduce my fat intake by
one third." Or "I will walk half an hour each week day this
month." By being specific, you will increase your chances of success.
Goals also should be realistic and
attainable. If you set a goal to write a novel in a couple of months, there's
not much chance that you will succeed. However, a big job such as repainting
the interior of a house is not as formidable when it is tackled one room at a
time. Size your goals so that they are not so big that they are unreachable nor
so small that they don't challenge you.
Life changes almost always involve habit breaking. Habits
are ingrained into us by years of usage. Just think how much trouble it would
be if you had to think every morning, "Now I'm going to get dressed, brush
my teeth, etc." Most of the things we do are by habit. The problem is that
sometimes habits are harmful instead of helpful. When you have decided that a
bad habit needs changing, you will have to battle the results of years of
routine and custom. Knowing in advance that habit-breaking will take effort is
the first step in overcoming an ingrained practice.
I've found that one of the best ways to get rid of a bad
habit is to replace it with a good one. For instance, instead of focusing on
denying yourself those fattening foods (that taste so good), concentrate on
adding delicious fruits and vegetables to your diet. Or when trying to break a
habit of piling up bills and letters, concentrate instead on making it a habit
to sort through and attend to each piece of mail as it arrives.
Another help in habit breaking is to change as many of your
daily routines as possible. Doing things differently in several areas will help
you to break out of customary practices – ruts! – that you want to change.
Jane had been trying valiantly – and unsuccessfully – for
years to quit smoking. It was always at the top of her list of New Year's
resolutions. This year, after learning about goal setting, she began by listing
all the positive results that would occur if she did not smoke. This helped her
to develop a strong desire to eradicate her smoking habit. She then made a
chart specifying how she would cut down on the number of cigarettes she smoked
and marked a day when she was determined to quit completely. This divided her
goal into manageable segments. In the meantime, she began changing her habits
in other areas of her life to make "the big change" easier. For
instance, she drove to work by a different route, started taking long baths in
the evening instead of her usual quick morning shower. Jane also paid attention
to her health in other ways by improving her diet, getting exercise, and making
sure she got enough sleep each night.
Jane was determined that she would succeed, but she also
realized that, being human, she could fail, so she made plans for that
eventuality. She decided in advance that failure would not cause her to give
up, but that she would try again. Focusing on the things that worked and adding
new techniques to her "ammunition for change" kept her on track and
positive. She also found friends who would encourage her efforts and hold her
accountable by checking often to see if she was on track.
When the big day finally arrived when Jane was to quit
smoking completely, she was surprised to find that it wasn't as hard as she'd
imagined. She had prepared herself for the change and had worked up to it
gradually. It's now been over six months since she quit and she is happier,
healthier and feels more in control of her life. She is now using the same
goal-setting techniques to lose weight.
As you achieve each step of your goal, reward yourself. Of
course, if your goal is weight loss, you don't want to reward yourself with an
ice cream sundae! Perhaps an item of clothing in a smaller size would be a
better choice, for both reward and motivation. As you are successful in
reaching the planned steps to your goals, you will be encouraged and strengthened
in your desire to reach the end.
Rewards for each stage are helpful to encourage success and
inspire wholehearted focus. Small steps that lead to a large goal are not as
overwhelming as simply keeping the end in sight. Just as on a journey, concentrate
on your daily progress and make room for rest stops.
Instead of making goals once a year, as in typical New
Year's resolutions, consider reviewing and adjusting your goals as you
accomplish each stage of your objectives. This year, try making committed goals
instead of half-hearted resolutions and see if you don't have better success!
If you'd like to learn more about
goal setting, here are some resources you may find helpful.
Websites:
http://www.topachievement.com/goalsetting.html
http://www.mindtools.com/page6.html
Books:
"Make
Success Measurable!: A Mindbook-Workbook for Setting Goals and Taking
Action"
"Goal
Analysis: How to Clarify Your Goals So You Can Actually Achieve Them"