How You Can Respond to Negative Critiques: An Alternative to Murder or Weeping into Your Computer Keyboard

How You Can Respond to Negative Critiques: An Alternative to Murder or Weeping into Your Computer Keyboard
by Camy Tang

I recently received a rather caustic critique of a short story I had posted on a writing website.

My initial reaction was a spurt of anger and homicidal fantasies. My second reaction was depression and the largest, gloomiest pity party ever thrown--even Eeyore looked cheerful in comparison.

But, thankfully, my third reaction was prayer, which also led me to 4 practical steps to this tricky problem.

1. Pray. Rather than a vague general prayer, pray for specific things like:
“Lord, please calm me and grant me Your peace. Don’t let me respond in anger or defensiveness. Don't let me reject any comments because of vengefulness.”
“Lord, please give me clarity of vision and wisdom to discern what comments I truly need to consider, and what comments are simply not applicable.”

2. Let the review sit a little while. And pray hard while you let it sit. Although angst and injured feelings may seep into your mind and heart during the day, do your best to ruthlessly nip them in the bud, and cry out to God to grant you His peace to replace any anger.

3. Go through the critique line by line. Make notes to yourself addressing each statement. If necessary, pray before making a decision on what to do about each comment.

4. Get a second opinion. If some of the critiquer's comments trouble you, talk to writing friends--NOT TO VENT, but to ask their opinions on either that particular passage, or the particular writing technique in question.

What Will Happen?

1. God will meet your needs.

He managed to somehow calm my heart and take away the sting of the more scathing comments. He threw dozens of encouraging emails at me--not directly addressed to me, but random writing group posts reminding me of various truths about His character, and why I write. He pointed me in an entirely new direction--namely, this article--so that I would learn from this experience, and glorify Him in the midst of pain and self-doubt.

He will not do exactly the same things for everyone who receives a negative experience like this, but God WILL meet you where you are and provide EXACTLY what you need.

2. You will be able to be objective about the critique.

I discovered that some of the critiquer's comments were very good points, and made the story tighter. Some of the comments indicated where I needed to clarify details so there would be less misunderstanding by my reader. And some comments weren't really applicable, because I decided that the corrections suggested would compromise my own particular writing "style" or "voice."

I would not have been able to calmly glean any helpful information from the critique WITHOUT God. And neither will you. Bathe everything in prayer, and He will give you the discernment to gather truth from opinion.

3. You will be able to respond in a godly manner.

I was able to email a polite and honest thank you note to my critiquer for taking the time to do his critique. I meant every word. I didn't defend myself, or retaliate, or make a single sarcastic comment.

I knew that God was pleased with my calm, respectful response. But I was only able to react that way because His grace and power changed my heart, in response to my prayers. He will do the same for you.

A good verse to encourage you is Philippians 1:9-11 which says: "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God."

Bring It On!

I'm not fooling anyone--I will probably go through the same three reactions with the next negative critique. But somehow, the entire process opened up another facet of His character to me, as I clung to him during this difficult time. Somehow, the process made me into a better writer. And it was another small step in this lifelong journey of walking with my Lord. Isn't this why we write?

So, negative critiques? Bring it on! Anything that will draw us closer to our God.