Too Much of a Good Thing: Advice About Adverbs

Too Much of a Good Thing: Advice About Adverbs
by Marianne Jones

“The most important thing I learned since coming to Thunder Bay,” Tim, my writer friend said, “was to avoid adverbs.” Although his comment was tongue-in-cheek, the caution about adverbs is one that separates the beginning writer from the professional who is sure of her craft.

We all know from grade eight grammar that adverbs are qualifiers that modify verbs. We may even have been taught to use adverbs generously, to make our writing more descriptive. While grade eight teachers may know their way around a grammar text, few are professional writers. Experienced writers know that adverbs more often weaken one’s writing, rather than strengthen it.

Adverbs have a tendency to offer redundant information. This is irritating to the reader. Do we really need to be told, “The new mother stroked her baby’s face gently”? How else would someone stroke a baby’s face? Is it possible to stroke roughly? Similarly, why write, “The horse galloped swiftly”? Do horses gallop slowly? The verbs “stroke” and “gallop” imply gentleness and speed already.

If the verb is ambiguous, choose another verb. Instead of, “he shouted angrily,” write, “he bellowed” or “he ranted.” One strong verb carries more impact than a dozen adverbs. Instead of telling the reader that “He pounded his fist down hard on the desk,” why not paint a more vivid picture by saying, “He slammed his fist on the desk with such force that coffee sloshed out of the mug onto his papers”? An even better rendition would be, “He slammed his fist on the desk. Coffee sloshed out of the mug onto his papers.” The image of coffee spilling onto the papers communicates force in a vivid word picture that makes the use of the word “force” unnecessary.

Writing which is loaded down with modifiers causes the reader’s focus to weaken. If I want to grab and hold my reader’s attention, shorter sentences and stronger verbs prevail over long sentences with many descriptive words.

The worst offenders among adverbs are words like “very” and “so.” They indicate laziness on the part of the writer, and add nothing. Consider these two sentences: It was a hot day. It was a very hot day. Does the second sentence convince you of heat more than the first? Why not say instead, “It was a blistering day.” Better yet, “Flowers were wilting and dogs were panting in the shade.”

Adverbs in writing, like pepper in cooking, have their place. However, it’s wise to be sparing in the use of both! I’ll never forget the time the lid came off the pepper shaker when I was making a pot of potato soup. An otherwise delicious meal was rendered unpalatable. Go easy on the adverbs, and they can add just the right flavour to your creation.

This article first appeared in FellowScript magazine in winter of 2001. Marianne’s poetry, articles, fiction and drama scripts have appeared in denominational and literary magazines including Virtue, Woman's Touch, The Student, The Presbyterian Record, Lutheran Woman Today, Room of One's Own, Wascana Review, and numerous publications. Marianne Jones also is the author of a chapbook of poetry, "Highway 17" and a Christian fantasy-allegory for young readers, "The Land of Mogan."

Marianne’s web page is: www.tbaytel.net/mjones.