This is the first in a series of columns, "Forever Family," by Mary Emma Allen

Will You Be a Memorable Mother?
by Mary Emma Allen

"Mom, I'll remember that forever," comments your youngster after a family trip, an amusing incident, a special day together, or simply a walk in the woods. The child stops for a moment, then says with a grin, "We're a forever family."

What makes a "forever family," you ponder, after you've tucked the children into bed or had the last word with your teenager? What is important today when the world seems to be challenging families?

Then the realization hits that so much lies with you, the mother, as you balance your many roles. Inadvertently you become the pivot, influencing their lives, and forming those memories that will survive long after they're grown. You'll even reach into future generations.

Dad is important and plays an ever increasing role in their lives, but Mom is so often the barometer that sets the tone for the family whether she wants to or not.

So....will you be a mom who’s remembered fondly by your children when they're grown? Will you be one who affects their lives in ways they'll recall with love and laughter? In spite of discipline and chores and sacrifice?

Incidents From Childhood

Do you recall incidents and traditions from your childhood you want to share with your children to create a feeling of family continuity? Or if you don't, do you want to create memories for your family's future?

I realize now that Mother often had much work to do. But she took time from her busy day as a farmwife for walks and picnics with us four children, doughnut making feasts, story sessions at bedtime, swimming in the brook in summer, listening to us and talking with us when we had problems or secrets to share.

Looking back, I never recall her remarking, "No, I'm too busy," although she must have said it many times. The memorable occasions we shared far overshadowed the times she had to refuse. Or she would include us in her work and make it fun.

Fun With Your Family

My daughter and I enjoyed some of these same activities when she was small, as she does now with her children. I've heard my daughter say to her son and daughter, "When I was little, we used to do this...just like Nanny and Great Grandma did."

As I look around the happy faces at my husband’s family reunions, I realize that the congenial adult relationships exist largely because of my mother-in-law’s efforts over the years. The family of eight boys now has many memories to bind them together.

Families Need Sense of Belonging

A sense of belonging, of doing things together that makes children part of a long line of generations helps bind families together. In these days, when the family unit is being battered on all sides, it’s often the mother who can do so much to make, for her family, a haven at home, a place of happiness and security, a place which will stir fond memories.

The adult children will recall the incidents that formed their lives because of their memorable mother. Will you be a mother, who is regarded with fondness and respect, in spite of family ups and downs, joys and sadness, as you mold yours into a forever family?

(c)2002 Mary Emma Allen

(Mary Emma Allen writes about family matters for parenting and family magazines and ezines. She chronicled her mother’s journey through Alzheimer’s and how it affected her family’s life in "When We Become the Parent to Our Parents." A story about her granddaughter appears in "HeartWarmers of Spirit."
Visit Mary Emma's web site: http://homepage.fcgnetworks.net/jetent/mea; mailto:me.allen@juno.com)