Language in Motion: Does My Verbing Problem You?

Language in Motion: Does My Verbing Problem You?
by Ken Rolph

Sports commentators. Where would we be without 'em? Probably back in some linguistic Elizabethan age still saying thee and thou to each other. We need these stalwart pioneers of language to smooth the tortuous and tangled web of expression into quick, direct and simple paths.

Thus it was recently that many Australians received enlightenment during a swimming event. In the final, fast moments of the 200 meters freestyle, the commentator insightfully prophesied the outcome with the words "Rooney won't problem Graham".

As it turned out, this was true. As a piece of expression it was inspired. Simple, direct, standard English. Subject-verb-object. He could have said "Rooney won't cause (make, be, etc) a problem for Graham". While our brains are processing and distinguishing the direct from the indirect object, the race would probably be over and the insight rendered insignificant.

"Rooney won't problem Graham" contains it all. Two characters, their relationship, the negation, the future tense. All in just four words. What more needs to be added? The interesting thing is that if the commentator had said, "Rooney won't trouble Graham" it would not have caused any comment. We are used to hearing "trouble" as both noun and verb. We are not used to hearing "problem" used as a verb. Yet it is hard to think of a suitable replacement for the world "problem" in this context. Trouble? Bother? Beat? Pass? Worry? No other word is so exactly right. Just because it hasn't been used that way before is no reason not to use it that way now.

English seems to be transitioning to a language where many different parts of speech can be used as verbs. But me no buts on this. But wait! Isn't that a long-winded way to say it? Why not just say "English is transitioning to a verbing language". We will invent the verb "to verb". We should verb more non-verbs. This vivids the language.

I blame television for this trend. It is about "motion pictures". Nouns are descriptions. They just sit there. Verbs are words in motion. Since all life aspires to the condition of television, we should verb away so our language moves along with the camera.

I plan to verb a lot more in the future. I hope this doesn't problem you.

And I'll be in good company. Ever since I identified this trend I have been smothered in a frenzied outbreak of verbing. It is not even safe to open my mail.

A recent note from my local arts group, Artswest Foundation, had the following sentence:
"We also include the attractive brochure for The Seven Year Shimmy, the Amaranth Belly Dance Troupe project we have auspiced for a member."

I've checked the dictionaries. "Auspice" is not noted as a verb in any, not even the Encarta. I must say I was shocked and surprised when I read that sentence. But then, the very last thing a man expects to happen in his own backyard is a sudden outbreak of belly-dancer auspicing.

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